Loving someone else's child

My day started as I lay in the dark of my cozy bedroom waiting for the alarm to signal I would have to leave this comfort to face the coffee pot and my morning routine. I heard my phone indicate that I was receiving a text message. Who would text me at such an hour? As I rose to deal with the chores of my day, I reached for my phone and looked at the screen. The name startled me. The girl is 16 and a former student at my Middle School. We became very close as she visited my Guidance Department every single day for lunch. Her story unfolded in the arms of my concern and genuine interest in her life. She has been dealt so much heartache and trials in her very short life. Her parents, as so many these days have done, did not stay together. In fact, her Mom has been with more men than you can count on one hand. She was left to live with the father and step mother. Even at a very young age, she was watching younger step siblings, because no one else was. They lived in a car for a year and she didn't go to school. There was arguing and drinking. She was the object of her father's wrath and violence. Eventually, the schools found out and she was sent to a hopeful new start with her mother.

Things didn't change much. Her mother didn't hit her. She did worse. She says things to her that hurt in ways that physical pain cannot touch. The girl had been in that situation for a couple of years when I started getting to know her. I began to see a girl with bright eyes and a beautiful smile. She was like a tiger who was timid and afraid of the unknown person in front of her. But, strong and fierce if she felt she was threatened in any way. She had no boundaries at home. She could stay out all night and skip school in the day. She made her own meals and cleaned the house when no one else bothered. Her Mom was really gone most of the time anyway. She spent most of her time with boyfriend of the month. The girl did what she could to raise herself. Problem is, she had no model of the right tings to do with your life. How does a teenager raise a teenager.

She became very important to me, and by the time she left my school I knew that I would have to be part of her life, as I wanted her to be in mine. She came to my home, went to church with me, and we text. A lot. Thus, the text I received this morning was not a shock. It was the time of day and the message.

She took a bottle of pills. She didn't know what to do. My heart sank to the pit of my feet. My heart began to beat a million miles an hour. I looked up the medication on the internet and kept her texting with me so I would know she was conscious. I began to pray. I convinced her to get help and go to an emergency room. Her Mom agreed to come get her and take her.

When I asked her why, she said that she was tired of getting in her own way when it comes to making something better of her life. She didn't see any other way out. I shared with her that I had a night when I sat on my kitchen floor and tried to load a gun for the very same reason. But, I found there was a way out and she could find one to.

She went to the hospital and they saved her life. She told me she thought her Mom was getting angry because they wouldn't let her leave. She told me that she didn't know what she would do without me, that I was like a mother to her and that she loved me.

I don't know what I would have done if something happened to her. I have grown extremely fond of that girl. She could really be somebody someday...I just know it. Why is it that it seems I love her more than her own family? It's so unfair. I'd give my right arm to be her Mom. But, I am not. That privilege goes to someone that it seems like would rather not have to deal with it.

So, I love someone else's child. And, that is hurting me today in ways I can't explain.