The family tree stops here

I was thinking about one of my Grandpa's the other night. My husband sneezed and it reminded me of how my Grandpa used to sneeze. Then, I began to reminisce about all my grandparents and how fortunate I was to have them in my life. Of course, the next thought for me was my parents. I've finally been able to see them get to be grandparents in the last few years. First, my brother married a wonderful girl who had a precocious and scary-smart boy. He has an insatiable curiosity and my Dad is the perfect Grandpa to answer all those science questions. Then, my brother and his wife had their precious little girl, Evie, in September. I see the pride my Dad has on his Facebook account as he posts pictures of her. I hear the love in my Mom's voice when she tells me the latest news about her. And, I have to say I am really happy for them. I am thrilled for my brother and his wife. But, it hit me this morning as I was thinking about the whole situation that on our side, the family stops here. I don't get to share that special bond with my parents as I raise a child and finally understand what that was like for them. I won't ever see my children get doted on and loved in that special way that only grandparents can do. And, for my husband, the Maley family name stops with him. He is the last of them. It is what it is, but it is sad. I so looked forward to those visits to Grandpa's or Grandma's house that I remember so well from my childhood. Family has always meant a houseful for me. I am having to change the way I think about family. How many times have I faced the question, "So, when are you going to start a family?" I already did, the day I married my husband. It is just really hard for anyone, including me, to see it that way. I have encouraged other women I talk to going through this infertility journey to make sure they create family traditions with their husbands and not to wait for children. I encourage them to do this because it is something that we neglected to do. There were so many times we said, "Once we have children..." The concept that would never happen just wasn't registering for us. I come from a family rich with traditions and family connections. I was blessed. I will always be sad that I never got the chance to pass them on to my own children.